The Typical

Do you ever ask someone if they are okay when you know they’re feeling like crap? Do you ever wish you could take what’s hurting those you love and bring it into your own life so they don’t have to deal with it? It sucks to see people suffer. Especially those closest to you. I think the worst though is when you are so wrapped up in your own problems that you completely miss the subtle cries for help and an hour later you find them crying in the hall on someone else’ shoulder. “That should be me!!” you think. They didn’t have to break like that! Pushed so far into their whirlwind of hurt that they finally crack!

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so selfish. Why would I ever want to be self-centered in the first place? I think it’s almost funny that the teachings of Christ are so simple and easy, yet we hardly ever find the time to obey them. The promises are eternal happiness and joy and satisfaction with your life. But honestly, who wants to take the time to find joy eternal when you can sit down and watch a psych episode and be happy for forty five minutes… that is if none of your siblings come in the living room and start making noise...

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that life is made up of choices. Right now in high school lives commonly seem to be centered around the “me.” choices. What can I do that can make life easier for ME.  You can’t wear those shoes cause they’re horridly out of style, you cant talk about Justin Beiber or lady gaga cause no one likes them and if you like them then no one will like you. But worst of all, heaven forbid that you say hi to that weird kid in the hall, the one you feel fine talking to when no one else is around…. But what if someone mildly cool who happens to know a couple cool people who happens to be best friends with the student council kids and drill team girls happens to hear… OH NO!! life is over for you!! You’ll never have a social life again!! … sound kind of familiar?....

Heck no I’m not innocent of this! I don’t claim to be! I avoid awkward eye contact in the hall cause I’m not sure if they want to talk to me, I don’t admire Beiber in public even though I think he’s incredibly talented. Yea, I’m not any where near innocent… but you know what. I’ve learned a heck of a lot. I am so much less worried now about what people think about me. sure I still try to be a good person, and act decently, and follow God. But that is cause that’s who I am. What I just don’t care about is who I am seen talking with, whether or not my shirt is ridiculously ugly- I could care less, its comfortable!! I don’t care if that silly guy who I used to be friends with completely ignores me in the halls! It’s his problem, I know I’m a good person, I’m happy with who I am, and I don’t freakin care what he thinks of me anyway cause I’m never gonna see him again in my life after we graduate.

I wish I could take back all those wasted years of sitting nervously in the back of the class because I didn’t want to bother anyone. I wish I could go back and make the friends that I never dared speak to every time I moved. I wish I would have not let people push me around so much. But ya know, you live and learn. C’est la vie.

How did I get from ‘hurting friends’ to ‘a self centered high school life.’? … Honestly I’m not sure. It’s just what’s on my mind today. I’m tired. I had a great weekend; I got to spend it with my two best friends.
Life is lovely and God is merciful.

Have an incredible day.